I have been TTC for more than eight years with no luck. I'm becoming so freaking depressed and just want to sleep all day. I now have a constant reminder of what I am lacking in my life (a pregnancy, a baby, a family with the love of my life) because....

Recently, one of my neighbors (Who just turned 17 and is very immature and lacking of common sense- Sorry, but its just so true.) has "accidentaly" fallen pregnant! She is about 21 or 22 weeks now. For the first 18 weeks she completely ignored the fact she may be pregnant because she was too scared to tell her mom. She was also continuing to take her medications for ADHD that are harmful during pregnancy. So, no prenatals or anything during the first 18 weeks. She is also a smoker. And, you guessed it! She did not quit or even try to quit smoking. She was also smoking weed and drinking during the first month. At least she stopped doing those two things once she started to suspect she was actually, really, pregnant. Apparently, she told her partner that the medications she was taking would stop her from becoming pregnant. (FYI- She was NOT on any type of birth control at that time.)

Fast forward to now, she is about 22 weeks. I have to see her almost every day because I live right next to her. The things I have to witness all while wishing I were the one that was pregnant, is slowly eating me alive inside. I have been nothing but kind to her and I help her when and where I can. I have given her all the pregnancy and parenting magazines I had so she can get some kind of information from somewhere because she doesn't like to read. Unless, its a magazine... She is also a huge hypochondriac, which she definitely gets from her Mother. Her Mother, however, is also incredibly dumb. And buys her pregnant daughter cigarettes every day! The other day I walked out onto our porch and she was sitting there chowing down a huge hero sandwhich that probably had about 5 different processed meats on it. I didnt want her to think I was jusging Her, but lets be honest, I absolutely was. Especially because I already had explained to her just how dangerous processed foods and meats can be to her unborn baby. So, I asked her, nicely, "What are you doing?" And she responded, "My Aunt told me it's fine if I eat a sandwich if I want one, I asked her and she said she did too when she was pregnant with all her kids! Its fine!" So, I just simply reminded her that it could be pretty dangerous and what she was doing was risky. And she proceeded to turn around and face her back to me, as she ate the whole thing. She then lit up a cigarette.

I could go on and on about how much common sense this girl and her entire family is lacking. And I could go on and on about how hurt i am about the whole situation. And I wouldn't even be so involved if it weren't for her being my neighbor and oh yeah, I failed to mention that her so called "partner", (the child's possible* father) is one of my immediate family members. It's impossible for me to avoid her and its impossible for me to not be hurt by this whole situation.

I'm honestly just crawling in my skin day in, day out. Trying not to care so much, trying not to let it hurt me so much. But it does and it is. I'm at a point where I find myself crying almost everytime I'm by myself in the bathroom. Why does a teenager deserve this instead of me?! 😣

I know this is a hard question to ask, because you guys dont have the full backstory and you don't really understand just how ridiculously immature (and not ready for a child) this girl is, and how she thinks she knows it all, but what would you do if you were in my situation?

How can I find some acceptance and hurt less by this whole thing?

I'm just at a loss anymore, I dont know what to do, and I really feel like running away from it all.

EDIT: I also forgot to mention that she is refusing to even think about brestfeeding because its "so gross". 😣 Omg somebody please shoot me. I can't take it anymore!!!! Not to mention she isn't financially well-off at all, she is completely relying on her mother and the possible father for money and to buy everything, and yet she refuses to get a free carseat from WIC because it's a blue carseat and she refuses to put a baby girl in blue.... When she said this, we didnt even know the babys sex yet!

We now know the baby is a boy.

I just can't take this anymore ugh.