today we lost a beautiful little soul.

after over a year trying, many arguments, lots of tears and dissapointment, negative test after negative test on April 20th I finally got to see those 2 beautiful lines, and I was already in love as my little one been asking for a baby brother or baby sister for so long and I just felt like everything is going to be okay and was so extatic.

later on I got to see my little baby for the first time and see the little life I am creating inside of me and I couldn't be happier thinking of finally meeting the little one. I was so happy seeing my little ones smile and how excited she would be.

2 weeks later after the ultrasound we went in for another ultrasound because we were all hoping to hear that beautiful heartbeat but that screen took a turn that we never imagined would happen.

after crying for days, and wondering why me we were given a glimpse of hope because my HCG results came back and they increased, so we followed up with another test hoping to see those numbers going up and praying we got a little fighter and they were wrong. this morning I went in and they unfortunately dropped from 56742 to 54500. this was the confirmation I never hoped Id ever see as I Infact lost my little baby. now I feel so lost but after being in the limbo for almost a week of having a ray of hope I feel like at this point all I wanted was peace. now I'm sitting at home wondering when it's going to happen, waiting for a call from early pregnancy loss clinic, and that's got to be one of the most heartbreaking feelings I have ever felt. RIP little baby ❤️ we have always loved you and always will. maybe not now, not tomorrow, maybe it wasn't your time but I will meet you yet again and get to hold you. until next time we meet my little one ❤️