so I was in a competitive residency. you rotated for a few months. things like monthly meetings for progress were never created between the manager and I for units I floated on. it's a year long program and you rotate units for three months, usually spending a month each unit.

then they told me they don't know where to put me. one of the 300+ girls was like oh yeah that happened to me and they didn't place me anywhere for three weeks.

so I was like eh it's been a week no big deal. they wind up telling me they're extending me a month nights. so the first week I was with 3 different nurses and by the second night they were all like oh you're fine. I'd constantly ask for feedback or areas to improve and they were like you're doing fine and nit pick little documentation things that another nurse would then nit pick and contradict. no big deal.

so I was paired with my final preceptor who gave me issues to the point where she was like you need to really prove yourself don't you want a job here? to the point I started freaking out so i called hr to ask if the residency is guareenteed to be a year and placement. they were like chances are you're fine but check with your boss.

so anyway. they let me go in January. and i on the basis I'm "almost there but not there yet" and told me that I can't reapply for any facility of their conglomeration for 5 years so I get experience elsewhere. yes that includes rehabs they have.

so I finally found a job as a public health nurse. it was interesting. I didn't like the idea of being along in a clinic examining drug addicts myself. so they had 3 other open positions as they're understaffed so they asked the other 2 nurses if they wanted to switch roles. the third nurse gave notice she's leaving. then they asked me and I said yes I'd like to switch. the following day the call me in saying I lied to them and that I should have put "terminated" as yes and explained why although in the "reason for leaving" I explained it as they "let me go" and omitted the 5 years part.

so they fired me for lying. then when I asked what do I say cause I was panicking over the hospital that let me go and now it looks like the last employer let me go for being dishonesy( I didn't know what he would say) and my boss who fired me was like well just say it wasn't a good fit. after she fires me for lying.

so now I found a job as a school nurse as an immediate fill till next month and I don't know what I want to do... I absolutely love the kids but I feel lik I haven't developed skills. the nursing homes hospitals and rehabs near me won't hire me cause I'm either new, they have people moving up internally or because other new grads burned them because they got experience for a few months then left. even after I say I'll stay for x length of time.

I'm petrified to move. God forbid I "fail" at that job too and then I'm stuck in a area trying to pay rent with no job. I was hired as a private duty per diem pediatric nurse too but I'm scared to do that. I'm comfortable with what I know but I realize there's plenty I don't know or am not entirely comfortable with so I haven't done that...

starting to really think nursing was the wrong choice for me... sorry for all the typos my phone won't let me see what I'm trying cause this is too long....

in hindsight I see how it was lying. but I explained the residency as the fact it was super competitive and we're not allowed to switch hospitals and they didn't know where to put me so they let me go.

as that was I was advised to say by my school career coach.