Feel like such a failure.

After posting this i realized i probably should have posted it in a different group; sorry!!

Long story short; me and my ex have a son. We’ve been off and on for about four years now, but when our son was a little over one, he really seemed to man up and wanted our family to work. He treated me great, and i felt like finally things were going to last like I’d always hoped. A few months later we got an apartment (out of state) and we seemed to be so happy in our relationship. I ended up getting pregnant again, and we were both super excited. Then all of a sudden he started being distant. I caught him talking to other girls and being fishy about everything. It was hard, but i left. He was causing so much stress and didn’t deserve to wake up to me and our son everyday since females became more important then anyone. My heart still hurts bc now my kids aren’t going to have the family i always hoped they would. It’s now been 3 months and i haven’t heard a word from him. He doesn’t ask about our son, or our baby on the way. My son just turned 2 last week, no text or call for him, not even a Facebook post. It’s his loss, I’ll be there for my kids no matter what and honestly, they’re probably better off without him

Now this is where i feel like even more of a failure. I had to move back in with my mom. Things between us have seemed to have gotten so much better. We agreed i could stay here until the baby is a few months old so i can get the hang of doing everything and having two kids. But i have a sister, she just turned 12 two weeks ago. She makes this household so toxic. She’s always screaming at me and making negative comments about me in front of my son, even to him. Like she’ll say “your mommy is so stupid, I’m sorry she’s your mommy” me and my mom tell her all the time you cannot say things like that to a child. Then, I’ll see her doing something with my son (like today, she had him standing up on a spinning bar stool and was spinning him around) I’ll say please stop or don’t teach him that, and she lll say no and keep doing it. Or she’ll try to give him candy or somethings I’ll say no and she’ll give it to him anyway. My mom says she talks to her all the time about all these things but she doesn’t listen. Some how, all of this is MY fault. My mom always screams at me when it comes to me and my sister arguing. Yes i get that I’m 21, but she’s not 5, she knows right from wrong and does it on purpose to make me mad. I want to get out of this household bc it makes me feel like such a failure as a mother. My son should not be around all this negativity from my sister and learn it’s ok not to listen to mommy. I’m just in such a hard time right now bc all of this happened unexpectedly. I didn’t think I’d be doing this alone. I didn’t think I’d have to quit my job and move back home with my mom. Having to start over with work and finding babysitters and preparing for a new baby is so stressful. That’s another reason why my mom said i could stay here until the baby is a few months old; so i could really get on my feet and not have to struggle. All of this is stressing me out so much I’m so scared it’s going to effect the baby😞 i don’t even know where to go from here.

*please no negative comments about financial issues. None of this was an issue when i was with my ex. He worked a good paying job and i made good money as well. I literally had to start over with nothing and it’s only been 3 months. I’m trying the best i can to save up so i can live in a SAFE place for me and my children, especially being a single mother.