Beyond scared...

If you don’t read everything read the end..

So recently I decided to leave my boyfriend... we’ve been together for a while and things were going great. However a lot of things that weren’t so great I had looked over or turned my head to.. He is an alcoholic, my dad was one also and changed my grandpa was one and never changed so I know it can go either way but there were no signs of him wanting to get better. He would constantly tell me I was cheating on him. Trust issues up the wazooo. My final straw was the last time he told me I was cheating on him and put a tracker in my phone without my knowledge. It showed him EVERYTHING I was doing at all times. I have nothing to hide but really? He’s checked my location on my phone before but never to that extent. Long story short my parents were going to have to come move me out 2 hours away from where they live at 12:00 AM because he was kicking me out. That fight ended and moved on. So I went to my parents for a weekend and wanted him to come with me but he told me no he would stay home with our puppy who is 5 months old and needs to be watched at all times. I told him okay and went over a few things and it turned into an argument because of him always wanting to go out and drink. He said he would stay home all weekend and not be gone for more than a couple hours. Well the first night was fine I went out with my friend for her birthday like planed and he stayed home. The next day I had an open house for a cousin and all hell broke lose he said if I could go out and get shitfaced and call him (I told him that I loved him and goodnight and I haven’t drank once since we’ve been dating) then he can too (he does every night/day he has the next day off). So he went to a baseball game. No big deal right well he stayed there from 11 am to about 7 and tells me his dad is watching our dog. I did not believe him one bit because I know his dad wouldn’t let him out and play he’d feed him and put him back in the kennel and well puppies poop and pee so of course it would be everywhere. I looked on good old Facebook and sure enough in comments on his pictures from the game he’s talking to girls asking them if they’re going to another girls “dirty thirty”. So I call and ask him about it and he’s drunk and starts telling me that I start all of these unnecessary fights and blah blah blah and every fight we’ve had is because of me. So I agree, hang up, and ask my parents to take me to get my stuff and my dog. Let me state again this is two hours away. So we drove there me balling the whole time him having no clue we get there around 9 and start packing FAST. We got almost everything in the car besides 3 boxes or so and he walks in the apartment and I hide and continue to throw stuff in boxes. Finally they get everything out and I grab my dog and he starts telling me I’m not taking the dog. He called the cops and we left. They told him to report him as stolen the next day. Any who the next day he texts me and is apologizing like crazy and still is apologizing. I cry frequently about this because I do love him by honestly this was very hurtful for me. My heart is broken. Now we’ve talked since then and I’ve told him he needs to get help he needs to show improvement before I even think of starting anything with him again. Well yesterday I took two pregnancy tests and they were both positive.. which I’ve always wanted a baby and so has he but now that we are in this situation I’m FREAKING out. I don’t know if I should tell him yet. I have a dr appointment tomorrow for a blood test to see if It’s legit but I’m pretty sure it is. So unfortunately this being a blessing I don’t even know what to think or do... I was going to talk to my parents but I am terrified because they just went threw all the trouble of moving me back home. My best friend and I have talked about possible termination but I am so against abortion (for my self whoever else chooses it that’s your body and your choice). However I looked il the heartbeat of a baby doesn’t start until the 8th week and I would only be 4-5 weeks. So that swayed my mind a bit. I don’t know... advice please... :(:(:(

Sincerely,

One stressed out 21 year old....