don’t know who to choose

I dated this guy for around 7 months and it was a long distance relationship, and I’m not good at those. He was amazing, made me feel like I was “the only girl in the world” lmao. But I cut things off because he was getting too possessive over me and thinking I was always talking to someone else. Commitment is something I’m not good at, and when we started to get serious I started to get nervous and shutting him out, when all he did was give me all his attention and love in the world. Few months later my first love got out of a relationship and we had dated for around 3 years. Of course I was still about him deep down but I tried not to resurface those feelings and it failed. We never really officially got back together but the way all our other tries ended, this one was different. I felt more in love with him and felt more secure and happy. But like all the last times he started to become distant and say it was because he was just tired all the time. He started to text me around 12-3am every morning so I’d be staying up waiting for him day after day just to get maybe a sentence in return. We’ve never really been that couple that has these amazing conversations about anything or anyone and I had that with my ex before, so I guess I’m just wanting more so I have reassurance he even really cares about me and wants me. What’s worse is the ex I left moved back down where I live, and the guy I’m with now just left to move to Indiana two days ago. I’ve never been this far away from him knowing that he wasn’t coming back. He didn’t even come see me before he left; but I didn’t put that on him because he allegedly had no idea he was going to have to leave so early when we had so many plans together. I was even going to go to Indiana with him for a short while before having to say goodbye to him. He doesn’t seem like he cares that he’s away from me, or care that he talks to me maybe twice a day. Maybe I’m being selfish or overreacting but everything just seems off. Since I have things from my other ex (he sent them to me literally a week before I broke up with him) he wanted to come and get them so we were texting back and forth. We’ve been talking for about a week now and I mean I haven’t even met him except for years ago and we didn’t know who each other where so I was wanting to meet him even though I’m ‘sorta’ in a relationship. He doesn’t know about him. I feel like I’m doing them both wrong and I need to tell one of them, but I don’t know how to come about it without upsetting one or the other. My current guy I feel doesn’t even deserve the time of day so I’m trying to cut things off as smoothly as I can, I kind of want it to be mutual. My ex has always treated me how I’ve wanted and boosted my confidence but I’m still in love with the other. I swear this could be a fuckin movie lol, I’m just in a tight spot and would love for someone to tell me they’ve been in my shoes or have some sort of advice for me to go off of. I’m lost and I feel like I’m cheating but like I said it was never even official but he still calls me his girlfriend so I don’t even know man. I’d also like to add that my current guy no longer has a job because he wanted to sleep all day, plus moving. What was off about that is that he stopped going to work a week before he left. So that makes me think he knew he was leaving and just didn’t want to tell me. Anyways he has no phone at the moment because he somehow always breaks his phones, but he does have a laptop and texts me on there when he wants. I know no one would want to sit on their computer all day texting someone back but I’ve definitely done it several times just to have a small convo with someone I love. He literally doesn’t stay on the computer long enough for me to reply or even read his text. He texts me back, gets off, then gets back on maybe 3-4 hours later and it’s a cycle. I’m not even used to him texting me all the time but it’s driving me crazy for me to not even get to say goodbye to him and him barely ever talk to me. He’s also 97% of the time, at home. Which is why he’s always asleep. Just thought I’d clear some things up before I get comments about how I’m overreacting and that he probably has a job and that he doesn’t have to text me all the time.