I can’t do it anymore

I’m so exhausted. Exhausted from the constant heartache that comes every single month like clockwork. I don’t understand why it is so hard to get pregnant. We do everything right. We stop “trying” and just enjoy each other, and still nothing. My husband and I have been ttc for over a year and it just doesn’t work.. He has been taking medicine to try and help us get pregnant; I am scheduling an appointment with a fertility specialist; but still nothing. It is so heartbreaking. I’m tired of wasting money on products for this. I’m tired of using preseed every time we have sex in hopes that one of these days it will work. I’m tired of locking myself in the bathroom and bawling my eyes out on the floor because af just showed up again. I’m just tired of it all. I can’t do this anymore. It hurts so bad to know the one thing we want more than anything seems so impossible to reach.. I just pray that there is nothing wrong with my body - or my husband - that is keeping us from starting our family..

Sorry for the long post, I’m just extremely heartbroken and I told my husband we are not allowed to “try” anymore because it just hurts too much.