Finding it so hard too trust...💔

Ok so this might be a bit of a long one but I’ll try and cut it short...

I have a 9 year old and 7 year old (as of today 😁🎉🎊) different fathers (please don’t judge I was so young) so my oldest sons dad would cheat on me all the time even when I was pregnant and having a very hard pregnant (was told my son would be still born) after 4 year I left and got with my youngest sons father at first it was ok but I fell pregnant really quick (it’s all he wanted) from that day he became seriously controlling I wasn’t aloud to wear make up, dye my hair, wear certain clothes and I wasn’t aloud a phone or friends. After I had my son 08/06/11 he turned really abusive telling me I was crazy and a bad mother but he would only do this when my midwife or health visitor was due too visit too make me upset then he would tell them I had postnatal depression (I didn’t) so fast forward I went back too work because he wouldn’t, he would disappear and not return home too look after our child so I couldn’t go, he would smash my house up and call me the worst things ever. I eventually left too protect my children, he made us homeless but I had a amazing family too help, he then got with his current wife, the first time I met her they where dropping my little boy off at my mothers he was 3 at this point and she started screaming that I was a slag (been with 3 people in my life and I’m 26) and I’m a shit mother and neglect my kids, it then got too the point where they didn’t return my son and I had too go to court too get him back (3 times in the past few year this has happened) they would ring children’s services several times a day and report me for neglect or anything they can ( all proven too be false allegations) I was slated on social media too the point I couldn’t leave the house I mean this was bad bad stuff which I could upload screenshots, this is all still going on 4 year later Iv had domestic abuse workers and everything. I got with my partner last year he’s in the army and honestly just amazing I know he would never hurt me but I’m so insecure I just can’t trust him, I constantly think he’s going too hurt me too and I can’t get it out my head, I’m always thinking I’m not good enough or I look awful....this is tearing me apart and I don’t know who too turn too....he knows everything about what’s gone on and has seen the abuse with his own eyes😭