losing my virginity

i was 15 and i smoked weed for the first time out of a bong after we smoked we started hooking up things got intense and he said “lemme grab a condom” i remember telling him i didn’t want to have sex and then next thing i know he’s inside me i barely remember it and was not a good experience. im now dating the most amazing guy and when i opened up to him about this he told me he thinks that sexual assault/ rape what do you guys think. i constantly blame myself for it happening and i wish it never did everytime i think about it i get upset.