Why am I even trying?

Hey ladies after years of marriage; I think this the end of mine. I’m at the point where I feel like why am I even trying anymore with someone who is clearly pushing me away, asking for time to think about if he wanna stay married, blocks me when we argue on the phone, blocks me from social media as well. We did some hurtful things to one another. But he did worse. He actually cheated on me. As for the damage control, he didn’t take responsibility of restoring my faith and trust. Just expected me to assume that he no longer doing the shit. Like if I asked where he is or just to reassure me. He would call me crazy or controlling. So I’m like fuck it at this point. I deserve better than this. Hell I ain’t the one that cheated. So what if I became highly insecure after. That’s expected! Hell you cheated on me and covered it up. So now I’m like “how do I leave?” Idk how to leave or where to even start... joint accounts, he the bread winner... I can’t stay another day in this house. But I can’t support myself alone with 3 kids. I’m so mad at myself for feelings so dumb because I tried to repair my marriage for the sake of the kids but I’m like no.. my kids don’t need to see us fussing and fighting. I need to go. I can’t ask my parents because it’s no room for us and my friends live more than a hour away from my job and the kids school. I just wanna get away from this man who clearly don’t want this marriage. I can take he hint. I just want out.

Advice? Comments?