Going back to work on Monday... FTM

Unfortunately it is not probable for me to be a SAHM at this time and I will be returning to work this coming Monday after what have been the best four months of my life. The thought of being away from my son for 8+ hours a day 5 days a week absolutely breaks my heart. I really don’t know how I am going to deal. I have been crying nearly everyday for the past week because I am so broken-hearted about leaving him. I am not an emotionally strong person in general and I feel like I’m going to lose it in front of my manager and all my coworkers. I really wish there was a way I could be a SAHM. I have not been away from my son for more than a couple hours since he was born and to be honest even that was extremely difficult for me.

Not looking for advice just looking to vent. My poor husband has to put up with my constant crying and telling him over and over again that I don’t want to leave our son. I try to hide my tears but they always come unexpectedly and my husband catches on. He tries to comfort me and tells me everything will be alright, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling of dread for what is to come and the sadness I feel for having to leave my sunshine.

Seriously, how am I supposed to leave this face?

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