We have a 6 week old daughter. My boyfriend is in three different bands, so he has practice four nights a week most weeks. I honestly don’t have a problem with him having that “me time” for himself, my problem is that he will often stay out until sometime between 4am and 6am. He leaves between 8pm and 10pm depending on the day. A year ago I would go and pick him up from practice around 1:30 or so and its slowly gotten later and later that he comes home. When I was pregnant I started letting him just take our car so I could sleep. I was late for work on a few occasions because I have to leave at 5:45am and he wasn’t home yet. I don’t think he’s cheating or somewhere where he isn’t supposed to be. I just feel like he doesn’t know when to call it a night and tell his friends/bandmates that he’s going home. It’s always hurt my feelings to feel like he doesn’t want to come home, but it’s worse now that we have our daughter. Any time I try to talk to him about it it’s almost like he’s in denial about how late he stays out, which could possibly be attributed to the amount he tends to drink while practicing.

We just started going to a family counselor this week because he admitted that he doesn’t feel like he thinks he should about the baby. He says he’s just not “excited” or “joyful” about her being here and having to take care of her. So now I get to be at home with our daughter feeling like I’m the only one who wants her, getting up with her every few hours, trying to exclusively pump and get a little bit of sleep.

I plan on bringing all this up as we get further into counseling, but I’m just so frustrated and hurt by it, especially on nights like tonight where our daughter has been so fussy. If anybody has advice on dealing until we can start talking about things more in counseling it would be much appreciated.