What do I do...?

I think I’m getting closer and closer to my breaking point. Last summer, and the year before that as well, I had severe panic attacks and I’d even black out and I’d cry all the time and it was jut a mess. But I got past it and got my life on track and whatever but my anxiety is coming back and I wanna go see a therapist but I have so many people (my bf especially) day “you’re fine”, “you’re perfect the way you are”, “I’d never want anything about you to change” and tbh I’m sick and tired of it and I try to explain it but no one gets it and it’s becoming not even worth my time to bother with an explanation or to elaborate. Also my parents (I’m 20 but rely on them financially for a college, car, and phone and I live with them when I’m not at college) so I understand they are going to be involved in my life a lot and have rules and this and that but when I bring up stuff that’s more private or that I’m struggling with I’m told to get over it or they throw a fit. Like when I started birth control I was on it secretly for a year because I honestly didn’t wanna deal with them talking about it and criticizing so when my mom found out she made a huge deal and said I needed to have a long conversation with my dad to explain why I’m on it (I have excruciating periods that make me immobile, pass out, get extremely sick, and very irregular). So that’s not a conversation I wanna sit down and have in-depth with my dad because ew. So anyway I just don’t know what to do about finding a therapist and how to deal with my parents and other people...