Could you selectively reduce?

Question

Having medicated IUI this cycle and moving on to IVF if it doesn’t work. I ovulate on my own but we are using Clomid this time to up our chances of getting at least one egg fertilized, which puts the chances of multiples high. My husband and I have talked and we’ve agreed that we could financially, mentally, emotionally, and safely (health wise, for me and the babies) handle twins, but anything more than that we’d probably selectively reduce. 
It’s just.... ugh. How do you get past the guilt? I have two boys from a previous relationship and I keep thinking, if we ever did have to make that decision, what if I lose my only chance at having a daughter? It’s just a thought that keeps popping back in my mind, unwelcomed! Don’t get me wrong, having to chose to reduce and losing a son would be equally sad, I just feel like I would always wonder “what if”
Could you do it? If so, would you feel guilty, or would you feel like you made the best decision? If not, would you judge others for making that decision or could you understand why they did it?

Answer

I've wondered the same thing myself. I don't think it's selfish to consider the health and wellbeing of your current family when making decisions about a selective reduction. What if you chose not to reduce, and you end up with extreme medical complications and can't care for your children? What if your pregnancy goes fine, but your older kids miss out on opportunities like sports camps, music lessons, or the plethora of activities that require financial resources? You and your husband are the only ones qualified to decide what's best for your family. Anyone else who judges you has no business doing so.

Answer

If you’re that at worried, just transfer one egg. The likelihood of twins from that is quite low. If you transfer two it’s higher (I wanna say around 30%) but one of the eggs would have to split for triplets - again I don’t think the likelihood is that high.  
I went through IVF for MFI and nothing wrong with me. So I do personally believe that the cited likelihood of twins is actually higher for people like me (as in I am now 20 weeks with twins after the first cycle/fresh transfer) so that’s something to consider too.

Answer

I could never do it.  That is why we never triggered with more then 2-3 follies and moved to IVF when I overstimed on inject/iui cycles.

Answer

I would reduce.  The statistics are extremely high for more than 2 babies- high mortality, disabilities, heart and brain under developed.  Unless you have a specialist within minutes of where you live and have the financial ability, then I would definitely reduce.  That said, it would be sad and hard, and I wouldn’t wish that decision on anyone.

Answer

I got pregnant with triplets. Transferred 2 and 1 split. The one that split hearts stopped beating at 9 weeks so luckily I didn’t have to make the decision but my Dr was going to be having this conversation with me at my next apt. She said most likely they wouldn’t  all have made it and the third baby would have died just because of the other 2 so its a very difficult decision but something to think about the risks and all the babies health

Answer

No doctor would allow you to go through with the IUI if you produced 5 or more follicles. They usually like to see only 2-3. Even then, it’s highly unlikely that all will fertilize, especially if you think you are on the path to IVF.

Answer

This is a huge reason why I’m hesitant for IVF. Everyone just tells me to freeze indefinitely, but isn’t that sort of the same thing? My morals freak out a lot over this since I’ve had two failed IUIs

Answer

I just did an IUI cycle where I had 5 mature follicles. My beta came back Friday and it’s a big fat 0. So disappointing. Obviously we were given the risks with proceeding (HOM) and we decided to move forward based on our history for RPL. We prayed about it and talked about selective reduction, which is so stressful. The cycle didn’t pan out- we had such high hopes. Onto the next cycle.
Best of luck!

Could you selectively reduce?

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