back talking, not listening and just straight being disrespectful

well I will start with a lil background. I am 31 and have 4 kids my oldest is 13 and he moved in with his dad 2 years ago (he asked to live with him cuz he wanted to see what it was like to live with him) then I have a 10, 9, and 4 year old daughters they all live with me and see their dad every other weekend. for the last few weeks I have been struggling with getting my girls to listen at all. I have to repeat myself constantly. I have told them everyday chores need to be done by noon so we can go do something together like go to a park do some disc golf got fishing just do something together but there has not been one day that they have gotten it done. they r grounded no TV no electronics no friends no outside no internet no toys and they do not care at all its like it does not affect them at all. it's constant back talk and I feel like the only time they listen is if I scream at them and I am feeling like a horrible mom cuz of constantly yelling and I am about to snap. yesterday was bad and I feel horrible about some of the things I said to my kids. yesterday was a hard day to get thru not only cuz of the kids but I lost my sister 14 years ago yesterday. does anyone have any advice on how to get kids to listen and stop the back talk and listen