WHY AM I SO AWKWARD

I’ve been trying to push myself to talk to new people while I’m at summer school , but I’m so self conscious and afraid how I present myself. I can’t really keep a conversation going for the most part, even when I really try ...I finally accepted the fact that I’m lacking basic social skills and it affects me no matter where I go , and no matter who I’m with. For ex. I encouraged myself to go to the gym with my sister and I immediately got shy and I didn’t want to do anything , and we left 30-40 minutes later and I felt so bad because I let my anxiety get to me! I hate that I can NEVER enjoy myself and let go and just be myself I guess .