very sad

im so damn sad and depressed all the time. i het panic and anxiety attacks all the time. I cant atop thinking about dying and everything is just so wrong all the time i just cant. no one ever listens to me, not even my bf, i cant. I am not happy and idk how to be so. Ive tried everything to be happy and i just cant. the amount of breakdowns i have per week... theyre many. I hate myself so much omg ... I cant even breathe sometimes. Someone help me please idk what to do