I Hate Myself!

I am 28 gonna be 29 in August. I'm 5' 9 and 290lbs. I have moments of feeling beautiful and then there's today, where I despise every once of myself. I want to have kids and I almost feel like I don't deserve them for how fat I am. I try to lose weight and never end up sticking to it. I seriously have an addiction to sugar and I don't know how to quit. I probably don't try hard enough and make excuses as to why I can't do it. I don't know where to find motivation. 😥I'm thinking about trying the Keto diet but I've been putting it off. It's a big change and cards and sugar are the hardest things to get rid of. What do you guys do to get motivated, how'd you kick the sugar addiction?