I'm now wondering what happened. I mean I understand that some people go their separate ways at some point and I make the effort to check in with my friends occasionally. Come to think of it, no one really checks up on me. Due to some personal reasons I haven't told anyone about my pregnancy, so I've literally been doing my own thing lately.

I spend alot of time with my boyfriend and my family, no one ever invites me anywhere anyway and the last time I attempted to make birthday plans, I didn't get a good response from anyone so I cancelled my plans. Since then I've just done the family thing and my boyfriend will take me out. A few years ago I invited my friend Paris (we went to school together) on holiday with a group of friends from university, she ended up becoming close friends with a couple of them. They would go out and not invite me, Paris would claim that I was boring since I didn't ever come out to these plans I wasn't invited to, then Paris fell out with all of them. Things have never been the same with that friendship group since.

Yesterday on Snapchat I saw Paris and another one of my school friends on a trip to visit our friend who moved out of town. My heart sank immediately, I can't lie I felt so jealous that I couldn't even watch all the snaps. This morning I decide to avoid these snaps again and look at another old uni friends Snapchat, to see another old friendship group together at a festival. Again, I felt jealous. Its not like I've ever fought with any of these girls, if I saw them on the street I'd still talk to them. I just don't get what happened.

 Paris and I were really close but she happily dropped me out when I introduced her to my friends. Things have never been the same and I wasn't necessarily close with all the other girls. However we would have a laugh and have lots of fun together. I used to just be that girl that got on with everyone and people would argue about who knew me the longest *sigh * maybe I have changed and I haven't realised it. Maybe it's the hormones cos usually I don't get so down about my lack of friends.