Husband and I have been TTC for 9 months

We miscarried in December. This month, i finally got lots and lots of BFPs! I was so excited. Until the FRER started getting fainter until the point of them practically disappearing. I got Clearblue tests out of curiosity. They were all BFPs! I got excited again. Went to the doctor, they ordered a urine test and they came back inconclusive. He ordered the blood test at this point and I haven’t heard back from that yet. I even got a positive on a digital! Well last night I had some light brown discharge and this morning woke up to a bunch of bright red blood. I’m cramping really bad and know that I lost it.

I’m heart broken. I’m honestly debating giving up for another baby. I can’t keep feeling this heart break after being so happy and excited. How do you keep yourself going after loosing them. How do you keep trying. I just don’t want to be sad like this again and again.