help!! book advice

Ok ladies, I need a book to read on babies sleep. my LO is 4 months old and sleeps through the night fine but is a terrible napper. the worst part is, she screams and cries EVERYTIME it's time to sleep (nap or nighttime) even when I'm holding and trying to soothe her. it's a 10 minute scream it out while I shush her, bounce her, rock her, and Pat her. it's exhausting and I hate that she protests so much.. so I tried the cry it out method since I couldn't calm her anyway, which was working great, until my husband mom shamed me and called me selfish and said I was damaging her brain and causing her social anxiety by letting her cry for 5 minutes !!!!!!

he made me feel like the worst mom EVER!

so I want to read a book on how I can teach her to self soothe so she can go to sleep quietly and out herself back to sleep after the first sleep cycle (she can't because now she has relied on me to shush shush Pat and bounce her. she won't fall asleep unless she has movement). I have looked at all these baby sleep books but can't find on that doesn't rely on CIO... HELP!!!