I want to be happy

I'm unhappy. I stay, because I want my child to grow up with a father figure (amazing dad, just not an amazing partner, not the bio dad either if that matters) He's toxic and he has made me toxic...we both have made each other toxic. I don't look forward to coming home....I fear coming home when he's off work.I have to take a deep breath before I unlock my door to step inside. I'm a very social and enthusiastic person, but my energy is drained every time I even think of him or have to be around him....I feel I would have been long gone by now...just I have nowhere to go. I have nobody. It's just myself. My four year old and I . He gets a thrill of knowing I let myself depend on him. I get so upset with myself for not having the courage to leave. I have a great caring heart and deserve so much more. Yet, I dont leave. I feel trapped. I have no transportation of my own. How would I be able to go to my hour away job? The cars are under his name. My paychecks have all gone to bills. I feel sad.