I’m so heart broken

After 3 years of loving, defending and supporting a guy I met who had literally had nothing but his clothes and a phone when i met him, we broke up for good yesterday. I have been defending him from everyone who has told me how bad he was treating me and that I deserved better and all that other stuff that outsiders see but I just loved him so much that I refused to leave. I hoped and prayed he would change and love me as much as I loved him and he did slightly . But yesterday, Yesterday I could have died from starvation and dehydration and he didn’t even pretend to care. I can take so much stuff but for me to always be there for you EVERY TIME you’ve been kicked out including from school I’ve been there to help you get back on your feet and support you . And for me to have passed out and you get aggravated with me for passing out, I cannot take that. I have spent the past 3 years empting my heart and my bank accounts on you to be better so we can grow and you showed me that none of that mattered to you.

You put everything and everyone else before me and I always put you first, even before myself. Even after I VISUALLY CAUGHT YOU cheating on me twice. I know I cheated on you too and I was wrong, though never did I ever make you feel unwanted, unloved or not good enough for me and you offered nothing to me. When you had surgery I was there to pick you up and comfort you even after you told your whole family a month in advance I was was the only person there when you opened your eyes and when you started walking again. When you were about to get kicked out of school, I was the one who payed your fees so you can reenroll. When you got arrested from defending yourself in a brawl, I was the one running around to get money to bail you out. When you got in an accident driving with a suspended license and no insurance with a fake tag, I was the one to put the accident on my license so you wouldn’t go to jail. When you had child support court, I was the one to bring you so they wouldn’t put out a warrant for your absence. When you had no job and no income, I was the one telling you everything is okay and that you will find work soon, I was the one making sure you ate everyday and were mentally okay.

And after all that, I get dehydrated and pass out and you tell me that you didn’t help because you were “Aggravated”. I’ve literally missed my whole college experience because I’ve been helping you grow as a person, draining all of my sources to the point where I cant even call anyone and ask for help because they would think it was for you. I’m the youngest in the family so I know they all want me to succeed and I almost gave all of that away for someone who wouldn’t even care for me when I black out.

I just pray that you forgive me for anything I did wrong and for nothing but greatness and success in your life. And that you will stay away from me forever because I do not ever want to hurt like this before for anyone especially not you.