Just here to vent a little.. 💜

I hope you guys read this..

I have three beautiful kids, 14, 10 and now a 7month old. A wonderful husband I’ve been with for ten years. Recently found out I have PCOS. On the verge of moving into my in laws house. Every time I say I’m gonna go back to school and finish I end up getting pregnant. My mom and I have never had a close relationship. Every time I was pregnant she would wish it was a boy so (she) wouldn’t come out like me. I’ve wished for a girl so bad. I know we’re not ready for another baby, let alone the one we have now. All I can think about is the type of relationship I would have with a little girl.. how much better I would want it to be.. how I would love her and protect her.. me and my husband have been wanting a girl for the longest. I’ am 32 and he’s 35. I really wouldn’t want to wait too long to try, and I know it’s not a good idea especially now that we might move in to his parents house. I know some of you might be struggling to get pregnant, are TTC, or have lost an angel. Please don’t hate me. You ladies are the strongest. The most deserving. I just want to vent my desire of wanting a girl but not having one. Sometimes I think it would make up the love my mom and I never had. The laughs, tears, and memories me and her don’t have. In a way, I feel like I still have a lot of sadness bottled up that I haven’t dealt with. But I have all of you to hopefully read this and know that a daughter does need a mom. To love, laugh and cry with. Wish that was how the relationship of my mom and I would be. Love and hug your mom. 💜