Hi Guys,

Looking for some advice.

I was with my ex for a year and a half, we went through a lot together but it was a very toxic relationship and he had very bad anger issues (he never hurt me). During our relationship I ended up closing myself off to a lot of friends and family. We broke up in February, I’ve managed to rekindle a lot of my friendships, my best friend was there for me as soon as we broke up, although we weren’t actually friends, so it took a long time for us to get back to how we were.

This week my ex text me saying he’s been really down and the only person he can think to talk to about it was me, so I met up with him to try and help him out. I wasn’t expecting him to be telling me he’s ashamed of himself for the way he acted and to be apologising and telling me he wants another chance and that he’s a different person. I didn’t even tell my friend this as I know she’d go mad at me just for talking to him. I was really confused. Yesterday I met him again, I stayed at his and we had sex a few times. I was honest with my friend this time and said it’s nothing serious, I’m just spending a night with him. But my friend told me to fuck off and hasn’t spoken to me since.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to be in a relationship with my ex, too much has happened in the past for it to be a healthy relationship now, whether he’s changed or not. But now I’ve spent the night with him and I think his understanding now is that we’re giving things another go, he’s very emotional and unstable at the moment, so I don’t know how to explain this to him without hurting him and sending him off the rails. I do love him and I want him to be happy, he needs to spend time on his own to learn about himself and what makes him happy, and maybe go to counselling - how can I encourage him to do this at the same time?

And now how can I sort things out with my friend? I’m not apologising to her, because it was my decision and it didn’t effect her, I don’t think she needed to react that way. She’s also previously gone back to an ex so she’s being a hypocrite. Please help me I feel physically sick after all this and I have no idea what to do.