TTC 10/11months. With irregular periods my whole life skinny or big , not only that. I always have spotting before a period for about 3-4 days. I just want to give up. I honestly can’t do any type of fertility process either. My insurance won’t cover it. We definitely can’t afford it. Every one around me is getting pregnant with no problem. Legit I’m only one who can’t have children as easy as everyone else. Too add I found out I was pregnant back on 18th of May of 2016. May 24 of 2016, I had horrible miscarriage. To make that worst I admitted to ER stayed for about 8 hrs with horrible doctor. It was just a traumatic experience. Since then I haven’t been able to conceive. My SO is sooo supportive. During every single step of the way. now I feel as if ,what if can’t have kids especially with the love of my life. I know he would be amazing father. To think this hurts so much ,all his older brothers have kids so easily at that. We can’t because of me. I know I’d be amazing Mom as well. I always tell my self , it’s not you time , you’re on your clock , all in due time. And I think all of this sucks even more , cause we weren’t even trying to get pregnant the 1st time around. I was told by my doc to lose weight to regulate my period. 80% greens and protein. To cut carbs out , I have for 3 months since seen her. I’ve lost some weight. Become so healthy as well, yet with no luck. It’s actually making me depressed now. Currently my period suppose to come today. This cycle I have felt a tad off. But every cycle I have my symptoms are different. It’s honestly impossible to tell if I’m pregnant or if it’s just my period.

This cycle I’ve had super light spotting ,light pink with tints of brown only when I wipe for 4 days. which Is why assuming my period will show up this week.

Normally tho my spotting turns into period. But don’t want waste money on test. Because I’ve already convinced myself it’s just a late period. I don’t take test anymore. It’s more depressing to get the BPN all the time.