SO and I have a 7 year old son together. We were young when we had our son and now we are at a place where we are able to have a baby and he doesn’t want to try. He says he wants what I want but I don’t truly think that is the case. I don’t pressure him we haven’t been trying or talking about trying for months now- I even went back on the pill. I feel so deeply emotional because my brain and body is telling me it’s time and all I can think about is the fact that I will never have the chance to bring another child into this world or our family at this rate. I work in a salon and all of my female friends around me are getting engaged and having their babies- I am genuinely so ecstatic for them when I hear the news and I am the auntie figure always willing to help! But at the end of the day I just want to complete the family I started.... I feel awful for thinking these things but I think about what I am missing out on in this life if I stay with SO. We are not married but have been together for 9 years. I’m getting impatient and my mama heart hurts. I feel like I am missing out on the two most important parts of a women’s life- child bearing and marriage. I love my son more than anything in this world and it is so hard watching him grow up without a forever friend to play with. I am 1 of 5 siblings and I never thought that this would be my life. I feel like these feelings will never go away. I feel like I was made to do this and now that my son is growing up and there is no baby and most likely won’t be- it has officially hit me that I may never be a mama again. I just want so badly to be OK with the fact that i may never bring another life into this world. I have had good days where I partially accept it and then days where I am so sad inside.