So Im in the dumps really bad right now when this is supposed to be an exciting time in my life. So I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and Im trying to be excited as anyone should be but I feel as though I have set myself back.

Before getting pregnant I was supposed to be joining the Air Force and going off to basic in September but now I cant. Ill have to wait until I have this baby in Feb and then 6 months after to even try to speak to a recruiter again. It really sucks right now and I can tell my boyfriend sees it because Ive been distant but this is depressing to me.

As bad as it sounds Im trying to happy that I can even conceive a new life form. But I just cant bring myself to be happy about it right now. Im not saying Im not ready I just wish I should have waited. Bad thoughts cloud in my head like abortion even though Im against it under certain circumstances thats how I know Im not in my right mindset.