depression

i can never get out of my depressive mood. it's causing me to stay away from things i love such as art and music. i need something to occupy my time. i even find i spam my fiance if im lonely but im afraid ill make anyone upset by just talking to them. ive been this way for a while now and ive had suicidal thoughts. i just want a hobby to help take my mind off of my depression till i see my psychiatrist. please suggest something, anything would help right about now.