Hello

So, 31 feeling like an 18 jejeje

I have had some bad relationships, my ex husband used to give me physical and verbal abuse, 3 years and I am currently in therapy. I just can’t trust anyone, and I feel love is overrated or not the same for everyone. I drink Valium and diazepam but sometimes I have met men that flirted, because I do look like if I was 20 years old. I just have become so cold, I kind like that. He made me quit my job, so I am currently looking for one, the only thing that makes me feel like a failure it’s not having a job at 31 years old, and I don’t want to be a mom (that makes me happy).

Whenever I remember my ex, i do feel stupid for giving chances when he didn’t deserve them

Masturbation has helped me a lot, because I can give me pleasure and not feel attached to anyone. (Even though I am a newbie in masturbation)

I did dated after my divorce but even though we never had sex, they were assholes disguised as angels.

Sometimes masturbation tends to be very impersonal.

But I have changed, I am not attached to anyone, I don’t feel the urge to have someone in my life.

If you are in happy relationship, what was your secret? Or how did you managed overcoming Abuse? Is life important??meaningful? Like do you get excited when you wake up to work 18 hours and pay bills??