Helpline

I normally make really personal posts anonymous to keep my privacy but honestly guys I just don't care about anything anymore.

I've hit rock bottom. Up until recently I've never thought about suicide. Tonight it's all I can do to remain awake and alive and not try to end everything.

I turn 18 on the 12th. This is the 4th milestone I've hit in the past two years hat my mother won't be around for. We haven't had a relationship in 2 years because she continues to stay with her husband who molested me for 3 years. it's just like my birthday is destroying everything I've worked hard for in the time that I moved in with my dad. when I graduated I had the same feelings. it's like every other week I'm back to wanting to relapse or end my life.

I've been talking to helplines and they don't help. its like talking to a wall. they're so robotic. I can't afford a therapist and my insurance won't cover it but I've honestly hit rock bottom. I give up. sorry for the long post .