Am I weird??

Question

I really don't want anyone changing my sons diaper or giving him a bath except for myself and my husband. I just don't feel comfortable with anyone including our parents looking at him or touching him in that area. Idk why, I just don't want them to. My family thinks I'm crazy, "He's just a baby, it doesn't mean anything". Yeah, but he's my baby...they also want to feed him but I'm nursing and they make it out like that's a bad thing...Am I wrong for feeling this way?              *Update*                                                             I will always be with him as I am a stay at home mom and he will not be going to day care. We are not letting him stay with any family or anything until he is weaned and potty trained. So he'll be with us for at least 2 years constantly. My husband and I both feel strongly about this part. I was touched inappropriately by my grandpa growing up and so this may be why I'm so set on doing things this way. Also my husband's parents often make inappropriate comments about my own husband even inviting him to take a shower with them which he of course would never do. I guess this is what really bothers me and I would kill anyone that tries to do anything like that to my son...

Answer

while I believe it is entirely your choice and it is understandable given your horrible saddening childhood experience.
Behaviors outside the cultural norm ( like this is) will often cause confusion and even illicit negative judgement from others. ( Its not right but it is how it goes)
My concern is more of practically.  Many (most?) children potty train at around 3 years old.
3 years is a really really long time to never have an afternoon or evening alone with your husband.
Is it healthy for you/ the baby to never ever be apart... I don't know the ans.wer to this but , well would guess that some afternoons away from the baby would be good for you and the child in promoting independence. I would worry that the child might have serious separation anxiety... I don't know if this would be true for you and your child.
It is up to you to make the best choices you can as each avenue has risks.  You have every right to make whatever choice you think is best.  
However there can be middle ground . You can extend the diaper changing past you and your husband to just one or two more trusted people who understand why this is important to you.  This will also give you a backup plan in case of some serious emergency where you might need someone else to care for him.
I hope whatever you choose works well for you.

Answer

It's your body so you decide what you're comfortable with, it's very rude that your family isn't respecting oh

Answer

I understand you thought process. But as a mother of going in 4 children it is impractical to believe you will never need help. My children never stayed anywhere including grandparents until they were able to talk or protest. But the reality is life happens to all of us, I am currently laid up from having surgery in my abdomen (unexpected) last week and have to rely on family to help me with my 11 month old bc I am 15 weeks pregnant with my 4th and I cannot life more than 10 pounds. I agree with the person who recommended bringing one or two people who understand and know your fears and wishes and allow them to help you. I don’t get a night off from Kids but one time a year if I’m lucky, there is always someone here with me, my family doesn’t like to help unless it is a necessity not for fun and it takes a toll on a marriage. I understand this is your first but you have to make time for the two of you.

Answer

Yes I think it’s weird.  Doesn’t mean you have to change what you’re doing but I think it’s odd (the diaper changing thing, not the nursing thing).

Answer

Your baby, your choice. Anyone else’s opinion only matters if you let it.

Answer

Do what you think is best. That’s your job.

Answer

I kinda get you on this but you need to understand that you won’t be around 24/7 I mean you’ll want to go out at some point and leave him with someone else so I’d think about that. I don’t let others change his diaper if I’m around. Like visiting my parents and my mom offers to do it I don’t let her. But if they are watching him of course they can

Answer

What will you do if they are ever looking after your baby when your not there? Both my parents and husbands parents and even my sister in law have changed and bathed my son. My son will even go in a bath with his cousin who is 3 months younger than him. I can’t see the problem with it. My son also attends nursery so he’s got always got someone different changing him.

Answer

I don't think it's weird as I am in the same mindset. (Not a mom yet but I'm planning to be and the thought of anyone else bathing my future baby just doesn't sit right with me.) I think we're definitely in the minority, but your baby is your baby, and who gets to interact with them and how is up to you. I think people tend to find it weird when parents don't want a lot of people touching their baby because they're just a baby, but a baby is a person. A fully functional autonomous person, and I don't know about you but I feel like it's important to respect that from day one. I certainly wouldn't want just anyone changing and bathing me, so I won't do that to my child.

Answer

You’re not wrong and you have the right to feel however you want, but you have to come to realize that other people will be changing and taking care of your son at some point. I would try to get comfortable with that as quickly as I could if I were you

Am I weird??

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