SO & drinking? ??

Question

Ok my SO drinks beer every night. At least 6 cans of beer with i think 4.5% alcohol in them. He never gets drunk because hes body has build up a tolerance for it. He works mostly everyday doing his own landscaping business. He for sure works at least 40 hours a week & makes enough so im able to be a stay at home mom for his kiddo who we have full custody of. I would honestly compare his drinking to someone smoking cigarettes every day. But it honestly kills me inside to see hime do it. I think its mostly because of my past with alcohol, ive seen a lot of bad because of it. Fighting & cancer of the liver & death. 
So im very torn...
Part of me says he works hard in the hot & cold weather outside for us, he supports us & his personality never changes when he drinks 
Other part says he is killing himself slowly, he is wasting at least $20 a week & my past experiences make me scared & then my jealous part of me say why dont i get to spend $20 a week on myself. I know thats terrible but it how i feel.

What would you think if you were in my spot?

I have tried talking to him about all of this but he just gets mad. He says he doesnt have a problem & list all that he does for us. He doesn't understand my anxiety about people drinking. And honestly he says i can spend $20 a week but im the one that cant bring myself to spend $20 a week on myself because i dont want to waste it and i know by the end of the month that would add up to a lot of freaking money.
Thanks to anyone that reads. I just really need to vent.

Answer

This is called being a "functioning alcoholic". My husband was one. I brought it up all the time. He spent $37 a week on whiskey and I'd include it in our budget. Eventually, he decided that he had a problem and its been nearly a year since he's drank anything at all. Not complaining about it or pretending not to notice is enabling him. But also know that nothing will do any good until HE decides its an issue. 
I'd like to add that I applaud you for taking such good care of his child. That's no easy task.

Answer

You need to have a conversation with him. Make sure it comes from a place of concern and not an attack.

Let him know why it makes you nervous or uncomfortable and ask if he can cut back.

My fiance had about a week where he drank every night, not even a lot (I'm talking one finger of whiskey) but enough to make me nervous due to my relationship with alcohol. My father is an alcoholic and his drink of choice is whiskey. I explained all this to my SO, he apologized and said he didn't know it made me uncomfortable but he made it a point to not have a drink every night.

Answer

Mine drinks every night but it is way more than a 6pk. I used to bring it up all the time but honestly it doesn't go anywhere and sometimes he will buy a handle of Captain  (biggest bottle) and drink it all to himself within two days. I fear for his liver. I have brought that up to and he just gets mad about it so I bite my tongue so there isn't an argument. He as well get up everyday and goes to work but is it bad that it kinda makes me grin when he has a god awful hang over?

Answer

I feel this way about my so. He drinks often. Sometimes he drinks just a few and then other times he gets plastered. It kills me because I am always assumed to be the designated driver and for once, I want to be the one that really gets to relaxed like him. I know he works hard out in the weather but I work too. What really infuriates me is when I ask if we can do something and he says we don't have enough to do it but then turns around and goes out for drinks

Answer

My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 14 so next month will be 8 years and about 3 years ago he started drinking and alcoholism runs in his family.. only gets worse and worse. He is now drinking about a 12 pack or more a night.. it is going to be the one thing that could end us.. so I feel for you love. All you can do is try to talk to him and see if he is willing to cut back before it gets worse.

Answer

I'm sorry but you will not be able to get threw to him. Talking to him obviously hasn't worked and if he thinks he doesn't have a problem then there is no helping him.. I know from experience that you just have to wait until he notices he really does have a problem and then maybe he will except the encouragement from you to help! Good luck

Answer

You have to talk to him. Tell him it worries you. Don't yell or get upset with him, just talk. Tell him it's not good for the kids (or kid) if you just have one. Make sure he sees that it's not healthy and make sure he knows that you dont want to see him like that.

Answer

Maybe talk about the cause of it rather than the drinking itself- the effect?

SO & drinking? ??

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