About two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. I’m seventeen and living with my parents. Getting pregnant was not a part of my plan. I kept it secret from everyone except my boyfriend and a close friend. I was figuring out everything on my own. I found a planned parenthood near me and set up an appointment. I didn’t have the money for an abortion so I applied for medicaid. I received the financial assistance but I missed my abortion appointment because I was horribly ill with mono. In the mail came the confirmation of my Medicaid application which my mom found before I did. She thought someone had stolen my identity and I was forced to cancel the account. I felt too guilty lying to her about it and came clean that night to my parents.

They were really upset with me for lying. They think I’m this horrible person going down a “dark path.” And they think my boyfriend is the one leading me that way. They blame everything on him. They’re asking me to leave him and change myself. I feel so confused.

I love my boyfriend. He’s trying to shape his entire future and life around me. I went for the abortion and my mom stayed in the waiting room and I had to go in all by myself. I spent the whole time wishing my boyfriend was back there with me. I know he would’ve made me feel safe and comforted. Instead I feel alone and scared.

Am I a bad person for wishing to keep the pregnancy a secret from my family?

I feel guilty for lying to them but I have started to regret telling them. I feel as though I could’ve gone through this without them. And I really wish I had.

What would you have done in my position?

Should I really question everything about myself? And question my entire relationship?

I want to mend my relationship with my family but it almost seems beyond repair.