TMI- Husband treats me like a porn star

When I first met my husband he told me sex is very important to him and if he didn't have it, he didn't know if he could survive. Obviously this wasn't the first conversation we had, but it was one of them. He is a super awesome stand up guy, I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't, I mean he even does the laundry 😉. Our sex life went so down hill so fast. If we weren't ttc we would probably have sex once a month, maybe even less. I've tried talking to him about it and he always says he doesn't know why. He knows I want to have sex more and when I try to initiate things, it's usually a no go. He's had his testosterone tested, he even offered to go to counseling which he now goes. He goes but I feel like he doesn't even talk to her about our sex life, he just vents about work. I know for certain he is not cheating on me, I know for certain he loves me. Well recently he asked me to put on a thong and heels. He got super fussy that the thong had lace on it, he wanted it to be a legit gstring with the triangle in back. I don't own any of them because I prefer lace so we made it work, I was ok with it. We ended up going to the store and were browsing around and I offered to get some things that he likes. We went to like 10 stores, no joke, and he didn't like anything. He was looking for straight up porn style gstrings. We found something similar so I was wearing it one night and he said "go get in costume", I was a little put off but super happy he was initiating sex with out it being my ovulation week so I put some heels on. He was so rough with me, grabbing my pony, smacking my ass, thrusting, tugging my gstring. We do do these things, but he brought it to an extreme level. At one point I thought he was going to dicapitate my head. It was over and I didn't know what to make of it, I just let it go. The next day we were laying in bed and I went to turn the tv on and he said "oh you ruined it" and I was like huh? And he's like the mood. I was so confused, but I turned the tv off and he said go get in costume. This time I was like oh no, we are going to have to talk about this later. I did what he wanted, still shocked he wanted spontaneous sex. He was so rough with me I started bleeding. When he realized he stopped and told me and went and rinsed off and laid down. Without even a thought I just started sobbing. We communicate well in our marriage so he wanted to know what was wrong. It took me a minute to even process what I was feeling but I told him I feel like I'm just a piece of meat to you, like I'm your porn star. I told him he hurt me. He was understanding but his response was but I'm turned on by you, it's YOU I'm f*cking, not a pornstar (he also told me if it hurt I should have said something he would have been more gentle). Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind being kinky, but I'm totally the passionate "love maker". When he's not wanting sex and we aren't doing it passionately but then I see him so turned on by this I feel.... GROSS. How would you feel?