Okay ladies, I really need help here. Before I start I would like to say if you have anything negative or just downright rude / disrespectful you can excuse yourself now.

So, this is the story since I was a little girl I had the biggest crush in this boy that we will call Boa. Bod and I had grown up together although we lived 300 miles away. His cousin are my bestfriends and they used to live in my town during grade school and that’s how we met. Years later the girls moved back up to their home town where boa lives so I would see him often due to me visiting all the time. We have been on and off for year just because of distance. Up until about a year ago I got into a relationship with this boy we will call Austin. Austin and I met at school and have been dating for almost 9 months. He is great, such a good boyfriend. I love him so much. But there is still apart of me that loves boa and wants to be with him. But he leaves for college on the east coast next year and I still live on the west coast. I don’t know what to do because I long want to hurt either of them. I haven’t cheated or anything because that’s no who I am but I’m so confused right now. Austin is the safe choice, but boa lights a spark in me. Please help me ladies. Please reply. I need all the advice I can get!! Thank you