I’ve been suffering from depression for as long as I can remember which I’m on meds for. I’m 6 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and my emotions are just out of control. I’ve literally been ugly crying all day, and then i feel guilty for crying because of my kids which makes me cry even more.

Back story. My kids are 10 and 17 months, and now one on the way. I’m not proud to say that they all have different dads. My one year olds dad was mentally abusive and used me until there was nothing left to use. When i couldn’t take it anymore and got the courage to leave, he completely stopped making any effort and eventually stopped seeing my daughter all together. It’s been almost a year since he’s seen her.

I started seeing someone new about a month ago and surprise, im knocked up. I feel like i barely know him, and he’s already showing signs that make me feel like i should run the other way. He was surprisingly really happy about me being pregnant and said that’s what he wanted. But i don’t feel wanted and i don’t feel like he’s there for me. He makes minimal effort, and I’m just emotionally distraught and confused.

I live by myself with my kids, and i just feel so hopeless all the time, and have minimal support. Abortion isn’t an option for me, and when i looked into adoption, i ugly cried once again. I want to keep the baby, but i don’t want to be in this alone and i feel like that’s how it’s going to be.

If you’re still reading this, thanks for listening to my rant. I’m just not sure where else to turn.