So I’ll try to start from the beginning and cover every detail, it’s long but I just really needed to vent. My long distance boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch. He’s had a history of lying to me before, about big and small things. We are 400 miles away and he used to lived here but moved away without telling me initially of his plans, which hurt a lot. He said there was no one else. Today was supposed to be our 3 year anniversary (yes we have a dating anniversary) but he hasn’t said anything about it. Usually he’s very sweet with me but other times he’s extremely distant and I don’t hear from him for days.

Anyway, we both have access to each other’s Instagram accounts, but he may have forgotten that I still have his password (I’ll probably get backlash for that but we said that we wouldn’t keep our social media a secret it’s not a big deal to us). Four nights ago he said was going out to get some supplies for his house with his housemate, let’s call him Matt. He texted me that to let me know, and I didn’t hear from him the rest of the night. I had a gut feeling that something was off.

Forward to two hours later. I figured he had fallen asleep. But I get a notification on my phone from his account, from a girl that he works with (he’s her boss). I went to go look because I had a really weird feeling and the follow request is completely gone. He had blocked her within 10 seconds the notification was completely gone. I checked his block list and it said he blocked her. I texted him asking what was going on but didn’t tell him that I saw that he blocked her. No response until the morning when he was at work. He apologized and said he fell asleep last night after going to the store with Matt. I asked when he went to sleep and he said 9pm but he blocked her at around 10:45 so obviously I knew that was a lie, but I didn’t mention anything about it.

I remembered her IG username. So naturally I was curious. She had mutual friends with my BF, one was a coworker and the other was his housemate Matt, which idk how she’d know him since he doesn’t work at her job. I watched all her stories, she had two black kittens that she had just adopted, one wearing a pink collar and one wearing a purple collar, with a red litterbox, and another story of her at work wearing the same exact hat my boyfriend has. It’s a very unique hat so I really don’t think it could have been hers. He must have given it to her. Fast forward to later in the day, he says he’s going to his coworker Andrew’s house to feed his two cats because he was “2 hours away visiting family”. I ask him to send pictures of the two cats. They are the EXACT SAME KITTENS, with the purple and pink collars. I ask him to send me a picture of the litterbox and he finds it weird but he sends it anyway. It’s the SAME EXACT LITTERBOX.

At this point I’m shaking with anxiety and we’re on the phone talking and I say “you’re lying. You’re not at Andrew’s house” he says “yes I am” and I say “no you’re not” and he keeps saying he is, to which I respond “you’re not. You’re lying to me.” He finally admits the truth. He says he’s at his coworker Sarah’s house and that he’s feeding her cats for her because he knew that she lived several blocks away. He said that she tried following him on Instagram and he denied it because he didn’t want me to be mad.

But he’s been hardly talking to me for almost two months now. He went almost two weeks completely ignoring me and it gave me some of the worst anxiety I’ve had in a while because I didn’t understand what was going on. And I checked her story and the same week he began to ignore me was the same week she started wearing his hat. I asked how he would feel if I messaged her and asked her about him and he got extremely defensive and said he doesn’t want me to do that because it’s weird. He got weird and distant after she was brought up. I was supposed to be visiting him next month but he said he didn’t know if he wanted to see me anymore. Also he gave me a half assed apology and showed no emotion in his voice.

I probably shouldn’t have done this and I agree it’s weird, but I messaged her and asked her about him. She said “Lolllllll that’s my boss” and said she asked him to take care of her cats while she worked and that she was still at work. I asked her not to say anything to him and I don’t think she has.

But the weird thing is that why would she ask her boss to take care of her cats if she’s so weirded out by the fact that I asked if something was going on? Why would they know that they lived so close to each other? Why was she wearing his hat?

Am I just being paranoid? What do you think? Is he being innocent? Why would he feel the need to lie to me? I really love him but this is tearing me apart.