Exactly a year ago your father and I found out we qere expecting you. Your father hugged me so tight and had tears of joy. Fast forward to today. You are 4 months old and you and I live alone. Your father picks you up in the mornings for daycare. Pregnancy was emotionally hard and for that I am so SORRY. I know you felt every tear I shed and you continue to feel them as I feed you at night. I'm trying my very best to be strong for you my son. But to be honest, despite the emense love that I have for you; I wish you weren't here. I wish I could have met you a little later in life. I wish that I could have brought you into a home full of happiness and love, like the one we used to have. But your father moved on, for reasons I will never understand. A year ago today you were a planned blessing. We anxiously waited for you and tried for you for over a year. A year later I hold you in my arms and love you endlessly. Despite it all, you are my greatest blessing.

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Thank you ladies all so very much for your kind and encouraging words!!!! They have made me smile and given me encouragement. It was an emotionally rough day for me, but reading your comments throughout the day gave me courage and reminded me that no matter how hard things get I can and I will move forward. Thank you so very much! 💕❤