I’m falling back into the feeling of being alone, anger, constant worrying, and fear of the black hole that I seem to be falling into once again. I’m 14 and i moved school last October aswell as houses I had the best group of freinds and these two girls who I grew up with, round there’s even day when I was younger, Iv always had a sister connection with them but it has made me to scared to leave them. We got into a huge fight 2 days ago and we havnt spoken since. They have helped and know everything about me, they may not understand it all but they have been my anchor since I moved schools. It’s so Sos hard for me to trust people but them two I would give my life for, now they don’t care about me and want nothing to do with me. I want to cry out of anger, guilt and hurt. I have people but not like them I feel so alone. When I told my mother what happend she got very very angry and i know feel like I can’t tell her how much I’m hurting bc she will call the school, split up the group I used to call my family and fall out with her freinds all bc of me. It’s my last day tomorrow but I have such bad anxiety about going over the smallest of things eg: where am I going to sit in childcare? Bc I normally sit next to them and they have managed to fill my space in so far with ppl. I can’t handle loosing people anymore it hurts to much, my family, old best friends, and now a life time relationship has been destroyed and I feel like it’s all my fault. Once again the thought of life being easier if it was Over is starting to embed. I’m just lost, floating alone in an ever lasting Black Sea, I can see a boat full of light but it’s moving away from me.