F*cking Hating my Body

M

I am only 5dpo and I'm already out for the f*cking month. I know it's to early to test and I know you are not out until AF shows but I am out. My periods are getting more and more irregular I start spotting sometimes 10 days before my period I am convinced I have a hormonal imbalance but every time I bring it up to my doctor its brushed off (its very hard to get another doctor) and I'm told after a year of ttc they will send me to a fertility specialist for tests. How frustrating to know something is wrong but have to keep trying another 6 months before I can do anything about it. Its been 6 months 5 bfn's and one miscarriage. In may when I was pregnant I had zero spotting before AF was due. So f*cking disappointed right now. I know my body it's not implantation AF is coming early.