Dear Mom,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being the biggest asshole as a teenager towards you. I’m sorry for all the tears I made you shed. I’m sorry for all the arguments we had. I know now that all the fights, tears, and hatred was because you love me and was looking out for me.

After hearing you’re diagnosis yesterday, my world has came to a stop. It made me realize- my best friend is going to be gone soon. My daughter will only know you by pictures and stories, she won’t be able to grow up with you by her side like I got to.

Its the fact that you were okay not even a week ago, besides the fact you couldn’t walk very well. Now, you can’t breathe without oxygen and they’re giving you 4-6 weeks if you decided to stop the chemo, even if you just started it today. The fact that, this chemo isn’t even guaranteed to keep it in remission- if it even does. The fact that in a week, you are diagnosed with the most aggressive form of lung cancer and it’s already spread your entire body.

I love you, and I wish i told you it more growing up. I’m sorry I took you for granted.

You won’t be at my wedding in September since they won’t let you fly. You won’t be allowed to hold your granddaughter because your immune system will be shot and hers will be developing. You won’t see me graduate college. You won’t see me move up in the company.

My world is coming to an end. And I’m so sorry.