so today I started out my day kinda excited as I saw the blinking smiley face on the opk... this has turned into anger. anger that I have to do this again. anger that my baby was ripped away before i even got to see a heartbeat. anger that everyone around me seems to be pregnant and so happy and I can't help but be so mad that I am trying again. I keep telling myself that there is a reason but i just dont understand it. i have been trying for 13 months and the one month things are going right and I have success it is taken away only for me to have to try again. this process is supposed to be fun and a loving experience but today I can only be mad and sad. I know I will be able to fill the last place in my heart and my son is doing such a good job keeping the light in that dark place. I just needed to talk about my feelings in a place I know I will not be judged and with others who have felt this same way.