Today didn’t start off too badly. I was doing okay at work, just getting on with things for an hour or so. And then I heard all this commotion. Lots of “ohhhhh hello!!” and “Look at you!!” etc etc

It was one of my colleagues who doesn’t come in the office very often as she mostly works from home.

She’s around 33 weeks pregnant now and I haven’t seen her since I had my mc on 8th July. Well that was it. I fell to pieces. I managed to hold it together until I was out of the room on my own but then I just sobbed.

This girl also had a mc 2 months before she fell pregnant for the second time so I am unbelievably happy for her but god it was such a punch in the gut. I felt like I could genuinely feel my heart aching.

A lot of days are hard for me as I work full time with one of my close friends who is around 26 weeks, I was 10 weeks behind her. But it was just something about seeing this girl with her big bump and hearing all those lovely reactions. It broke me.

I couldn’t even tell you how many times I cried today. I’ve lost count. I seriously don’t know how there are any tears left. I feel utterly empty and broken.

I just needed to vent here in a place where I don’t feel quite so lonely

Sending so much love to those who need it 💕