I know this is a very personal question, and some may find it weird or gross, but if you had a miscarriage/abortion, before 10 weeks, did you take a photo, or hold your miscarried fetus?

I had what I’m calling a “planned miscarriage.” I don’t want to go too deep into detail... But, the pregnancy wasn’t likely viable, and I didn’t want to have the miscarriage spontaneously while alone, so I chose to have it happen with pills on a day that someone could help me with my two year old. I’ve had 3 natural miscarriages, and I was much younger, and they all happened before 6 weeks.

This one, I was exactly 8 weeks. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it, but I did scoop my fetus into a small cup and look at her for awhile, before apologizing and having to let her go. I took a photo of it too. I think I’m more torn up over this expected loss, than the spontaneous losses before.

My heart is broken and I feel ashamed for something I truly had little control of...