When I first started my senior year of high school I moved to a new school halfway across the state, I knew no one there. I had signed up for some classes that I liked and there was one girl that was in nearly all of them, we’ll call her Sarah. For the first couple of days I didn’t really talk to anyone since I was a bit shy and scared of getting made for of due to some bad school experiences in the past, but it was time for a group project in my theatre class and I needed to talk to someone at this point and she had seemed nice enough.

She was sweet, if maybe a bit hyper about everything, and we seemed to hit off a friendship pretty fast. She even offered to start driving me to school so I wouldn’t have to take the bus that year. It was a few weeks in when she started wanting to go places and offered to take me, but kept making up something about gas money or saying that since she was anorexic I HAD to buy her food if I wanted her to eat. I didn’t have much since I have a mild case of autism and just couldn’t hold a job at that time, but I gave up pretty much all the money that I had for everything she wanted.

The year went on like this pretty consistently, especially if she wanted to go out on a date or something of the like and she didn’t want to go alone. I was always stuck with the bill and had to just take whoever came along with her friend or boyfriend at that time and entertain them. I didn’t want to say no because she was one of my only friends at that time and I felt like she wouldn’t be if I had said no.

We both ended up graduating, and while she stayed in town I moved back to where I had come from and actually met my currently husband. Around the time me and my husband got married she met up with one of her exs and started dating them again. The relationship had ended before with him cheating on her for the entire 3 months they were together and her burning everything that she had of his after she texted him to come get it so he could watch it all burn. I was stuck in the middle of that one back then. This time around I voiced my concerns, but she blew me off and told me this time was different.

A few days after I said that i thought that I had gotten pregnant, which made me and my husband have a lengthy talk about how we did want a baby when we could, that we have enough money that it’s not an issue with his job alone. She found out about this and started talking about how fun a baby sounds and how she’s going to try for one now.

Her and her boyfriend hadn’t been together for even a month at this time, he worked at walmart and stated that he refused to look for another job at any point. She had a new job like clockwork every week to a month at the most. They didn’t live together at the time, but he was living in a small cheap apartment that was a one bedroom hole in the wall. Their financial situation was rocky at best, and they loved to take monthly vacations before even getting into the relationship, which carried on after.

Me and my husband found out that it was just stress that caused my period to be late by a little over a month. She ended up pregnant that month, which she announced by text at my Halloween party I threw by text, which everyone blew off for her announcement or other parties. So in addition to finding out I wasn’t pregnant, she threw this in my face with about 20 pictures of the pregnancy test and several calls until I said congrats and turned off my phone.

Through he entire pregnancy she would send me pictures and videos anytime I posted anything that me and husband or me and my family were doing, she wouldn’t talk to me otherwise, and even when she was “talking” to me, it was just those pictures and videos and nothing else even if I tried to change the subject or talk to her about anything else.

She just happened to have the baby as my husband brought home a puppy as a gift for me, not really knowing anything about any of this since I don’t want to make him more upset about the fact that it’s almost been a year and I can’t seem to get pregnant. I posted a picture on Snapchat and Facebook since I’m excited about the puppy, and she sends me over 40 pictures of her son and all of her family holding her son on messenger and Snapchat before I just turned off my phone. When I turned it back on there was just as many pictures and videos as before i had turned it off.

While I know that I should be happy for her for having a baby, I’m worried about how the baby itself is going to fare with their terrible money decisions, the short relationship before the pregnancy, and her flightiness overall, I’m mostly jealous and angry about the whole situation. I feel like a terrible person for feeling that way, but at the same time I can’t really help it. I haven’t voiced much other than asking her not to send me so many pictures, which she responded to by sending more.