what would you do?

So I was with my ex for 10 years, high school sweethearts, had 2 babies! half the time he was on drugs so it didn't work out. but we were engaged at one point. when we split I met my current bf and we have been together for about 4 years and have a little baby girl. our relationship has been rocky. we dont fight but there is no communication. he also doesn't like to hang out with my family for any events or friends. my ex had our kids today for his day and I went to pick them up! he invited us to come play in the pool and eat burgers. it was so nice all together! and at this point I feel more attraction/spark towards my ex. i feel like i should have tried harder to stay together. hes clean now to and doing really well. I feel like our old memories and inside jokes have come back! anyways, now I feel like awkward and conflicted and stupid.