HELP!! Was I being rude?

Question

My boyfriend is Latino. He wanted to say hi to his friend and his wife and each of their family since they came to visit from PR. They all speak Spanish, minimal to zero English. So I told him I didn’t feel comfortable yet, and he told me I could stay in the car and wait for him. I know it was rude to not say hi, but it really does make me uncomfortable when they all speak Spanish and I can’t understand or talk, so I didn’t want to go in and awkwardly wait uncomfortably! 
Is that okay? Or should I have just said hi and waited inside...
I don’t want that to affect our relationship and now I’m scared it will.

Answer

As a Hispanic wife.... they probably thought it was rude. I understand what you meant but you made a choice to date another culture   If your that uncomfortable just know that’s what birthdays, bbqs, fun days will be like. Your better off getting out of the car and trying to learn a few new words.  Our culture is big on respect and closeness. I don’t speak Spanish yet my MIL do just fine trading meals and giving hugs. I would maybe look up a little about your boyfriends culture so that you both can practice sensitivity and not put your own above each other’s. If you have children one day then wouldn’t you want them to feel comfortable no matter who is around and be able to speak the universal language of love?  Good luck. A little compromise goes a long way and in a dominant culture like America it takes a little more awareness sometimes. 👍🏽

Answer

Oh hell naw. Like u can't say hola.

Answer

I don’t think this is a culture thing. I think it’s rude not to say hi regardless of culture. It can be uncomfortable meeting your boyfriends family because there are so many of them and only one of you. Regardless just make sure you aren’t using culture as an excuse for not wanting to get out of your comfort zone. I think any culture would rightfully view that as rude.

Answer

In my Latino family, if someone did this , it would seem as rude. We are Puerto Ricans also. You should talk to him and explain it to him how you felt 
And next time, just go in and say hola! We don’t bite 😊😊

Answer

The good news is now you've been in there shoes and can show some empathy. Imagine living in a country where the large majority of people don't speak the same language as you (and not only that but look down on you for not doing so).  It's isolating when that happens, which human tendency then amplifies because it's harder to learn the language when you're isolated from the new one. And then people make inpressively rude statements like "learn to speak English, you're in America." Vicious cycle of horribleness.
Next time look up some phrases on your phone, embrace the fact that you're going to have a terrible accent, and go wave and smile and say hi. :) It just might be amazing.

Answer

I mean, I get you were uncomfortable, but at the same time if my friends girlfriend sat in the car and didn’t even attempt to get out I’d think you were rude. Even if we spoke different languages. Everyone knows what a wave and smile means. 
Most of my husbands family doesn’t speak English, they just talk around me or someone translates. If no one deems a translation necessary for regular chit chat, I just hang out. It’s something you’re going to have to get used to when dating someone who speaks a different language. 
Make effort to learn simple phrases for now, like hi how are you?. That’ll go such a long way and I bet they’ll do the same. 💕

Answer

Yes. To us, it’s rude. A simple smile and wave or just saying hello is good enough. They are probably aware that you do not speak Spanish so they understand but NOT greeting someone in our culture is pretty bad.

Answer

I would have said hi, just because they don't speak the same language doesn't mean they don't understand greetings and common courtesy.

Answer

My husband is Latino and only one member of his family speaks English & it’s very broken. They know we can’t communicate, but just being present shows that you care & are interested in cultivating that relationship. Usually the bilingual speaker will translate, as I’m sure your boyfriend would have done. Plus, body language is understood everywhere, so if you stay in the car, not willing to be in a new setting, that’s saying something. If you go inside, say hello, give hugs or handshakes & smile at them, that says another.

HELP!! Was I being rude?

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