Postpartum depression?

**possible trigger warning**

I think I might have postpartum depression. I get really sad a lot. I cry about how stressful being a mom is, how I look, how my relationship is. The only time I feel happy is when my son is happy and my fiancé is happy. Sometimes my fiancé gets mad at me and I just cry and I lash out and punch things. I bruised my whole hand a few weeks ago from punching stuff. I don’t mean to get this mad but I do. Sometimes when my baby cries I just want to set him down and walk away because I’m so stressed and can’t help him sometimes. I love him to death but I do a lot of it alone and it takes a toll. I feel like I’m alone a lot. I think people would be better off without me. Like I should just leave my fiancé because he’d be better off without me. I have good days. But I also have a lot of bad days. My OB/GYN rescheduled my appointment in September. It was the next available appointment. So, I can’t see her to talk about this. Do you think I have postpartum depression or just baby blues? I’m 3 months pp.