This is going to be a long story. I’ve always believed god has existed because my parents told me he did, but never did they sit and teach us anything (my parents came from a cult) so their faith was shaken. As we got older my father started to become abusive with the scripture to his advantage and only told us what he believed (we weren’t allowed to read the Bible directly). Which scared me as I got older so whenever I read the Bible I would get terrified. I still believed in him but didn’t know what to do. Fast forward years later I met someone at work, he was wonderful, understanding, but an atheist. Having never read the Bible I didn’t know if it was wrong to marry someone of a different religion (but always felt something telling me it was wrong) we had premarital sex which I knew was wrong and wish I’d just waited like I had wanted to before. I got pregnant (I’ll never regret my child but regret my actions) so we decided it was best for our child to get married. Fast forward to now and I want to devote my life to God but don’t know where to start and I don’t know how to tell my husband. He says he believes theres a higher power just not God. He said we would raise our child Christian but I’m now feeling like he may feel uncomfortable with it. I want to go to church and ask if he’ll go but I don’t know if he will. What if he leaves me? I want to start reading the Bible since we weren’t allowed to and by the time it was okay for us to I was to scared to. I’ve started to pray at night for guidance (I used to but strayed from that path) I love my husband so much, I just don’t know what to do. I’m so lost but want to be found.